Writing Memoir
Yesterday I had the inestimable privilege of being invited to a group of my present and former students who had decided to hold an informal writing group and share their work. The writing that was shared was of extremely high quality, but even more pleasing to me was that it was depth-writing - the sort of writing that goes into difficult places and brings up a more complex view of life than some folks are comfortable with. I call this ’soul work’, and it takes courage on behalf of the writer.
I was bowled over by this. Of course, we write in order to discover what we feel, and what we mean, and we write to make sense of what we’ve lived. This is true, and deserves repetition. And… always an ‘and’…. when we do that we aren’t just sorting out odd bits of our slightly scrambled lives; we are growing our wisdom, our awareness, and our compassion. And we are growing our souls.
This is necessary work. If we don’t do this we will be unlikely to find peace in ourselves, and if we can’t find that, then there’s not much chance of being able to find peace anywhere else in the world, either. Peace begins with us, and deep soul work is all about finding real peace.
In a world where so many people seem to do things just for the money, or the status, it is humbling to be around those who want to do things, and do them the best they can, because it matters.
on August 8th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Yes Allan,
the truth in your words brought tears to my eyes..
Memoir writing really is soul work, and it does matter.
Through it we find the peace in ourselves, we present it to others, and they find their peace.
I realized recently that one of the most important things about memoir work is these opportunities to share our truth and our stories, to hold our soulwork in the light so that others may see us and in turn see themselves.
Peace is truly the way.
Thank you.
Be well,
Jean
on August 8th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I have such mixed feelings about sharing what you call, “soul work,” mostly because there is so little in one’s life that doesn’t involve someone else. I feel like anything I would write would, without fail, invade the privacy of someone else. Further, while I feel the emotional impact is legitimate regardless, our memories are surprisingly unreliable. I have heard certain friends’ stories, so many times, I feel as though I was there too, and can envision them in surprising detail, even when I know it’s not true. This is an example when I know my mind is conveying an untruth. I wonder how much of what feel pivotal in my life can be accurately recalled, especially from my youth. And yet these memories, correct or not, still have meaningful impact on who I am today.
Perhaps that’s why fiction can be such a liberating medium. In fiction, we can build a protagonist that fits what we remember, and how we feel we reacted, but offers us the leeway to construct a fictional backdrop, antagonists and situations.
Of course, I’m imagining sharing on a global level, either through a website or through a published book, but maybe you aren’t speaking of sharing of that scale. Perhaps the benefit is in sharing amongst a more intimate group of willing peers. In those cases, I suspect my points are moot.
on August 12th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Dear Jean,
I’m so glad you wrote your comment. I know we all felt that we’d got to be place of more wisdom and understanding rather than less - and that somehow, things were changing for many of us.
‘I woke up this morning and something had changed/ Like the rooms in my house had all been rearranged…’ (Sting)
All real change happens in the Unconscious, so it’s hard to describe. But we feel it.
As always, Allan
on August 12th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Dear Marnie,
You put your finger on an important point - which is that memory is an unreliable attribute. Part of the business of memoir, of course, is to try and sort out what one feels is true and to move away from the distortions that are so inevitably part of what people tell as ‘facts’ - many of which get added to and altered and embellished over the years. And if we’re not careful we wind up believing these versions of reality!
Memoir is often a pivotal point at which we refuse to accept the ‘public’ version of who we are (usually manufactured by social consensus of those who know us only slightly) and instead we go for the authentic version of who we are underneath it all. It’s not easy work, but it brings us back to our authentic selves, if we’re lucky, honest, and brave.
As ever, Allan
on August 14th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Thank you for the reminder that memoir is soulwork. I should have that tatooed on my right arm. MLou
on August 14th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Dear Mary Lou,
The tattoo is a good idea - and I’d suggest the back of the right hand, where one can see it every day, many times….
With a smile, Allan