The Therapeutic Uses of Writing
It’s time to come out of my corner again and talk about writing as a vital component of self exploration. I’ve been doing this particular practice with individuals and groups for over 25 years years, all told, so I think that I can say a word or two about it.
Human beings are the only creatures we know about who write. This gives us the chance to re-examine experiences and to come into a different relationship with them in a particularly personal way. It allows us to reframe what we see and to know that we’re reframing as we do so, and that way we have multiple perspectives on the same event. From multiple perspectives we can develop choices. It allows us to ask: Did I have to respond that way? Could I have done things another way? And what might that have been?
In its bare outlines this is what writing can do. Memoir can do far more although the basic sequence is still the same.
Most mental distress comes from the individual not being able to stand outside the experience, and like a panicking person who has fallen into the ocean, the resultant flapping and terror cause most of the damage and exhaust the swimmer earlier than necessary.
Writing is a powerful tool for developing a sense of the Observer Self - that part of the ego that is able to step back and say, now what’s going on here? When the Observer Self appears we have the start of wisdom, the first dawning of freedom of action and thought, and a farewell to mere reactivity.
The reactive individual is no more than an automaton, at times, and automatons don’t change much. They can be made to do anything if the stimuli are controlled appropriately. Think of the difference between dogs and cats. Dogs are pretty predictable and can be trained easily. Cats (as any experimental Psyche researcher knows) tend to be far less predictable and they tend to be able to work out when humans want them to do something, whereupon they may, or may not, decide to comply. Perhaps they’ll just sit and have a wash for a moment rather than doing the experiment.
When I worked with prisoners at Walpole one of the older guys, a lifer, used to tell the younger guys that the guards wanted certain reactions from the men (compliance, fear) and so inflicted certain actions (usually terrorizing). The prisoners would either react in fear and thus be ‘tamed’ or react in rage and get locked up in solitary confinement where they’d be abused and beaten until they became fearful and compliant. The old guy’s advice was simple: Don’t play their game. Don’t get sucked in. That’s the Observer Self - - and it gave many more options for peace without loss of dignity. The old guy didn’t know he was teaching his young colleagues to develop an Observer Self. He just knew that thoughtful prisoners tended to screw up the prison system’s strategy of brutality, and it made the administration have to try out other, more humane tactics.
In a similar fashion the business of writing is not just about comma splices and run on sentences. It’s not about orderly paragraphs doing what they’re supposed to. It’s about souls. It’s about the way people can, through writing about their experiences, become aware that they have more choices in life than they think. In a world that wants to reduce everything to simple choices (Pepsi or Coke? Republican or Democrat? War or cut-and-run?) this is a step in a healthier direction.
The pen, if used, can be mightier than almost anything else.
on May 17th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Dear Allan,
I am especially intrigued by the concept of the observer self . For the last few days most of my time has been taken up by the wonderful business of re- acquainting myself with my granddaughter and my daughter-in-law and my son.
I have not had a moment to write anything. But I have spent blissful moments rocking little Mary and observing our world and our reactions to each other. Watching how she observes the world and reacts to things/events and determines if they are good or bad for her,is fascinating. I can almost see the thought process by looking into her little eyes.
Watching her makes me more mindful of how I move about my own world. I want to hold onto that mindfulness, that observer self, always.
Nana Jean
on May 18th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Dear Nana Jean,
What a blissful picture you paint! And how absolutely accurate you are in all you observe. Children (perhaps especially grand-children) cause us to rethink how we live, and who we are. They force us to look and to wonder - and to ask questions that are as deep as any we can ever ask. The challenge is, as always, not to get so caught up in the busy aspects of child raising that we forget to look, to marvel, and to reflect. Perhaps that’s why grand-children are especially good teachers - - there’s an extra layer of experience as a grand parent that stops us being overwhelmed by it all.
You are very fortunate.
As always, Allan
on May 18th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Just yesterday, I was rereading Erving Goffman’s “Asylums.” Goffman, a sociologist (and a great observer himself) wrote about the “discredited” people in our society.
In everyday life, you and I are helped countless ways by other people in the work of sustaining our identities. “Inmates,” wrote Goffman, “are separated from ordinary collaborators…and subjected to a series of abasements, degradations, humiliations, and profanations of their selves along with a withdrawal of all the physical and social supports that once sustained them.” (i.e. outside prison.)
So ithe “lifer” is indeed playing a crucial role by suggesting behavior which might preserve an inmate’s sense of self.
To strip an inmate’s identity,” Goffman said, “is as inhuman as to flay the skin from the body.”
We so-called “normals” should never take for granted the many persons and systems which reinforce our own sense of self.
MLou
on May 19th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Great comment, Mary Lou. As you say, many people help to re-enforce (impose?) a sense of public identity upon each and every one of us. The important point is to be able to access the Observer self so that we do not become indistinguishable from what others want us to be….
As ever, Allan
on May 21st, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Yes - even as we recognize those who help us become the people we want to be. MLou