Yesterday the president suggested that the answer to school shootings was to arm teachers. My immediate thought was to ask what sort of arms would be provided. Would I soon be the possessor of a shiny new Glock? What would it feel like to swagger down the hallways with a bulge on my hip, since those things don't fit easily in shoulder holsters? But then, you see, a Glock is a handgun. School shooters use assault rifles which are much more deadly and much more accurate. I'd be spraying bullets around inaccurately when the first round from an AR-15 took my head off, no doubt. And then, knowing that school teachers are armed, wouldn't any future assailant simply don more armor and bullet proof accessories? Or use grenades, perhaps? So here's my idea, presented with the spirit of Jonathan Swift; go ahead and arm me, but if you do then I want an anti-tank gun. Because I know that if the next wave of escalation starts those guys will be coming with much more firepower than they have now. I can only hope it doesn't come to that.