Allan Hunter

Doing Nothing - and helping others

Posted on | September 12, 2009 |

Occasionally I come across a situation where a person obviously needs some help and guidance but there just doesn’t seem to be any way to offer anything. This happened just the other day. People have their defenses, and sometimes those can be formidable. At such times they can’t always hear what’s being said.

What I’ve learned - yet again - is that all too often when I feel this way in response to a situation it’s not really about what I think it’s about.  Yes, the person may be in distress.  But my ego is the part of me that says, ‘Go on, step forward and sort this out!’ When that happens it’s often a good idea to take note of what the ego is saying - thank it for its concern - and then ignore it.

In the end this sort of situation is not about ‘me’ saving the day.  That’s just the ego seeking gratification. It’s about what the person needs.  Sometimes people who are suffering need to be able to take the time, their own time, before they ask for help.  And sometimes they don’t need help as much as they need some peace and quiet while they try to puzzle it all out.

Sometimes, just sometimes, doing nothing really can be the most helpful way forward.

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    Hi—I’m Allan Hunter, author of The Six Archetypes of Love and Stories We Need to Know as well as two books on writing for self-exploration, Life Passages and The Sanity Manual. If you’re looking to live your best life I hope you’ll find lots of inspiration here.



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