Date Movies

Posted on | July 10, 2009 |

The Guardian (www.guardian.co.uk) - one of the better British newspapers - had a recent column on ‘the Date Movie’, and what people thought about the idea. Since we’re talking about England, here, some of the responses and anecdotes were hilarious, in a dry, understated way….

The point was a good one, though: there seems to be a genre of ‘Date Movie’ which is specifically designed to be romantic, gentle, predictable, and to offend no one at all. No explicit sex, no troubling issues, etc. etc. The over-riding sense is that no one should be offended, and nothing controversial should be touched upon in case the dating couples find themselves in a discussion afterwards in which real issues and thoughts are exchanged.

In fact it seems that ‘date movies’ are tailored so that no one will have to risk an opinion or reveal themselves to the other person, at all. This is the ethical equivalent of playing with puppies or kittens. Almost everyone has something nice to say about small animals. Most of us coo over them, even if we don’t take the next step and, say, adopt an abandoned pet, or donate to a shelter. This sort of cinema is very similar in its appeal, and as blandly self-serving as anything I can think of ; alas, it tells me that people, in general, seem to be afraid of being themselves.

People discover who they are, and who their dates and friends might be, through discussion, through conversations about puzzling matters, through listening and even through challenging each other. This is how we learn whom we like, and why; and also it’s how we learn who is not worth liking. Some of the closest and most vital friendships in my youth were formed around watching movies or plays and then having discussions about them. We didn’t always agree. But we learned from each other, and we began to learn from ourselves as we struggled to express barely conscious ideas. I still do the same thing, today, but mostly around books.

Hollywood, however, has decided that this is way too risky as a way to have people relate to each other. Thinking is obviously a bad idea in their eyes.

The Date Movie is, I am reasonably sure, a fairly pleasing experience, one that gives the illusion of closeness between two people who may have nothing in common. It fills the gap. It is the visual equivalent of elevator music, with all the high and low notes smoothed out.

So, which would you recommend? Me? I’ll be in the elevator, humming along.

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