The Words we use rob us of Peace

Posted on | June 17, 2009 |

The other day I was talking to a neighbor, who is rather well off, and the talk turned to real estate. Before too long I heard her say, “Well, we’re just about keeping or heads above water.” I found this to be an interesting cliche´. And I didn’t believe it to be true. She was not suffering from any real economic threat. So I suggested to her that her word choice was not helping her peace of mind.

This stopped her tirade about the expenses of remodeling her second home.

Yes, I went on. Think of it this way; If one struggles, literally, to keep one’s head above water then you’ll see that this quickly becomes exhausting. Any swimmer knows that. What we have to do is let the water support us. It will hold you up if you let it. Then all you need to do is keep your nose and mouth free for long enough to take a breath every minute or so, and you can float forever, practically. It’s not hard to do. That’s what they teach in survival school.

She looked at me strangely, and then went on about how hard it was to keep afloat in this economy and how expensive it would be to replaster a wall.

Of course I did not want to insult her, and since she could not listen I didn’t insist on my point of view. Yet it seems to me that when we get anxious, as she clearly was, we tend to use vocabulary that makes us feel more anxious. Then we believe those words, even when they’re not true. She wasn’t drowning, yet she’d convinced herself she was close to it.

The words we use do matter. The words we choose can rob us of peace.

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