Get Your Act Together

Today (November 20th) The New York Times suggested that the rest of the world is waiting, in this post election period, anxiously for the US to "get its act together". Ah, the myths we tell ourselves. I spent the first 30 years of my life in England (mostly) and I have to say that many people in Europe even then felt that the US never actually had its act together at all. That impression has remained, as far as I can tell, ever since. In the US we tend to think of ourselves in slightly grandiose terms - that we're somehow looked up to by every one. Envied for our wealth - yes; Envied for our power - yes; Looked up to - not always.... I can recall American tourists in Europe thoughtfully wearing Canadian flags on their clothes for exactly that reason. They wanted to be treated as people, not as "Americans". The Trump era is one we'll all have to work hard in - trying to make sure our country is kept relatively stable and intact. Let's do that. Let's work hard -- and then we'll see that we will indeed be looked up to.

Election Fallout

A number of people have expressed fear and sadness to me about the election results, and asked for help processing what happened. While I'm always happy to offer my counseling services to those who need them I can also offer you some practical advice for something you can do right now, for free. If you can, take a walk somewhere with trees. There's no need to talk to anyone, just walk. Then make yourself a snack of some kind. Something small and easy to prepare -- an English muffin with your favorite jam, and perhaps a cup of tea of coffee. Sit and eat and drink slowly. Again, there's no need to talk or to text. Be quiet with your grief and disappointment. Then, if you can, do something to tidy up your immediate space. Put papers away; empty the dishwasher; do laundry. Whatever is close and easy. If you're at the office you can tidy your desk. You may have to do this once or twice a day for a couple of days. Gradually you will send your Unconscious a powerful message -- that you are taking care of yourself and that the struggle is not over. You will get through this. Because you absolutely will get through this. And when you emerge you'll be ready to take on any struggles you need to.

Treadmills

Treadmills are wonderful - you get on, you exercise, and then you get off. That last part is important. You have to get off when you've done your workout. Staying put is not a great idea. The same thing is true for those mental treadmills we find ourselves on. Sure, stay on - for a while. Use the time to work out whatever it is you have to work out as much as you can manage for that day. Then get off. What cripples us is staying on the same thought, day after day, working hard and never getting any further with it because we've become habituated to the mill, rather than using it for what we need it for. Watch out for those mental treadmills.

Inspiration, anyone?

I often get inspired by my students. Today I heard from Krista, via Facebook, that she's training to run a marathon. Not too unusual, you may say. Krista has learned how to rock climb, become a civil rights lawyer, and generally done a whole lot of inspiring things. And now the marathon. There's just one more thing you need to know about Krista - she lost the lower part of one leg to childhood cancer. A strong woman who will not be kept back by anything -- that's inspiring.

Happy 950th Anniversary

Today is the 950th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings. I don't usually like to commemorate events of slaughter, so you'll have to bear with me on this. When the invading William The Conqueror defeated the Saxons in 1066 he imposed Norman-French rule on every citizen in his new realm; new language, new laws, new officials, new systems of government at every possible level. It was the most complete power take-over the country had ever known, and the last time the British Isles was successfully invaded. It was, to be plain, brutal. What happened was that over the next few centuries the local cultures began to push back, slowly. English eventually became the language of rulers and ruled alike. Powerbrokers and peasants could actually communicate once again. A new country arose from the bloodbath. It wasn't a miraculous rebirth; it was painful and hard and often it must have felt counterproductive much of the time. Yet gradually the people curtailed the power of the gentry and moved towards something that might look a bit more like democracy. So today I'd like to recognize the battle, but also to show gratitude to those uncounted generations who pushed back against tyranny, inch by inch. To paraphrase Gandhi: remember, whatever you do may seem inconsequential, but it is important that you keep doing it.

Trump – and the Shadow self

Trump's success has confounded many analysts, but I think it's worth stating the obvious: Trump's appeal exists because he expresses his unfiltered Shadow self. As many of you know, the Shadow Self is all those parts of the psyche that never got resolved. And so it's chock full of free-floating hate, fear, anxiety, and phobias of all kinds. If an individual never takes a good long look at this Shadow Self, and never comes to terms with it, it has a tendency to take over later in life. Think mid-life crisis and you'll see the stereotype of balding men chasing much younger women and buying sports cars, etc etc. Left to its own devices this version of the self becomes desperate and destructive. It seeks to blame others for almost everything. This part of himself is what Trump has clearly never confronted. Because of that failure he appeals to those people who have never done this personal work, either. And that appears to be a pretty large crowd. Don't vote for the Shadow or its representative. It's like voting for a dinosaur because it's big and not considering that you'll be its next meal.

Aging

Thinking about aging, and the problems it brings, might be (as Groucho Marx famously said) a luxury you only get if you're lucky. Then, the other day I came across this statement by Samuel Beckett (to Lawrence Shainberg) "I always thought old age would be a writer's best chance... Now my memory's gone, all the old fluency's disappeared. I don't write a single sentence without saying to myself, 'It's a lie!' So I know I was right. It's the best chance I've ever had." Perhaps, without those cumbersome memories, without the glib fluency of youth, without those easy certainties, it really is a kind of freedom. At last.

Harry Potter and Democracy

One of the things J.K. Rowling gets so very right is that democracy is often untidy and always imperfect. For example, in Volume 5 of the Harry Potter series we see the Order of the Phoenix assemble to deal with Voldemort. And the Order is a bit chaotic, impractical, emotional, and confused a lot of the time. But they work together fairly well. Still, they are annoying since they seem so clueless. And that's the whole point. These are the Good Guys. But in order to confront evil they have to discuss, decide, squabble... and so on. Voldemort doesn't do that. He just issues orders and acts without consideration. The insight Rowling gives us is that democracy, where people actually care for each other and seek to do the best thing for everyone, is a scruffy, full-time job that can be tedious and is definitely slow. Dictatorship might look good for a few moments (they get things done, after all) but it is pretty repulsive if viewed for any length of time. It looks easy, decisive and business-like. Actually it's horrifically destructive of the human soul. Think about that when Trump makes his sweeping statements about what he's going to do "so fast it'll make your head spin", and when he makes unilateral declarations of any kind.

Say What?

Today I was driving along when I heard Dylan’s “Tangled Up in Blue” on the radio. Naturally I sang along (don’t worry, I was alone in the car so no actual human beings were harmed by this activity). What I noticed was that I, an enthusiastic singer, wanted to smooth out the melody and make it nicer, gentler, than Dylan does. And that’s when I realized, again, what is going on. I wanted it to sound “nice” -- Dylan didn’t care if it sounded nice or not. Why? Because he had something to say that was far more important than a smooth tune. It was rough, it was vital, and it grabbed you in the guts. His voice was compelling. We all get tangled up in a gentle, smooth tune – and sometimes that means we forget to emphasize what needs to be said. What’s more important – a beautifully illuminated manuscript or the words it says? Plenty of poets and MFA graduates can produce a well-turned phrase; but can they say what needs to be said? Perhaps they get Tangled up in Blue.

When is Paper not Paper?

Every so often, of a hot evening, I like to fire up the charcoal grill. It makes for a pleasant outdoor experience and saves an already hot house getting hotter. People tend to be a tad different when they’re in a garden (even such a tangled one as mine) and that adds to the relaxed feel. Now, I used to happily crumple a single sheet of newspaper into the chimney device, pour charcoal in the top, and with one match and that paper I could start the coals. This is not possible now. The same trick done today produces merely a charred outline of the paper, which then extinguishes itself and fails to light anything. The reason is that paper is no longer what it was. Instead of wood pulp we now have some sort of clay material which does not burn, and – so my recycling friends tell me - is really hard to recycle. We may want to let that thought sink in. We try to be recyclers, but the game has changed, and what we’re recycling isn’t now amenable to the process. Now, I like trees, and I want to save them. What I don’t like is the creation of yet another substitute material which seems to be every bit as noisome as plastic, and every bit as hard to deal with. This is not progress, my friends.